This is Halloween!
On a budget, shopped from your own closet
Happy Halloween weekend!
If you, like I, cannot actually wrap your head around the fact time exists and thus somehow we’ve already reached the end of October and what does it all mean…uhhhh ANYWAY, if you, like I, also don’t mind cliches (surprise at existence of time, last-minute Halloween costumes), then you’re in the right place!
This newsletter is dedicated to those who forgot they have a costume party to go to and now must throw together something - anything - from their closet. A couple of these would require a quick jaunt to a craft store or the grocery, but for the most part, you could find most of everything below in your wardrobe!
In case you see these costumes and think, “I just wish I had this in my closet NOT for Halloween” then you’re in luck! All of these will be shoppable and all of the end results are outlandish and dumb in the best way.
Let’s get spooky, people!
Costume 1: Kurt Russell as RJ MacReady in The Thing
If you know me then this one will come as no surprise. First of all, The Thing is maybe the most perfect horror movie I’ve ever seen. Outside of stomach-clutching suspense, REALLY amazing practical creature effects, and lots of sarcasm, this is also based in Antarctica! Which holds a very special place in my heart as a former USAP contractor. But most of all, it has KURT. Ultimate, forever dream hunk Kurt. I honestly can’t explain my deep love for him but he is at his sexiest and most capable in this movie and John Carpenter really lets his beard and monologues shine. But back to the costume! If you have any version of a grey sweatshirt, green pants, and black boots, you’ve got the foundation of RJ’s look (a jumpsuit will also work). What you definitely need though is a leather bomber and the mileage of people having that in their closet will vary. An excellent, but not necessary addition would be a cowboy hat worn sideways with the brim pinned up - classic MacReady. Then just throw on a black backpack, tape your vacuum cord to it and pretend to blast away that pesky alien.
Costume 2: Ho Ho Ho Guy from Die Hard
ALSO a great movie and the simplest of all of these costumes to approximate. Have grey sweats? Great! Now ruin em with red sharpie and the classic “Now I have a machine gun. Ho Ho Ho.” He loses both his glasses and his shoes in the fight for his life so all you have to add is a Santa hat! Done!
Costume 3: Jeff Goldblum as Ian Malcom from Jurassic Park
Ok I know I think Kurt Russell is sexy, but here’s global zaddy Jeff Golblum in one of his greatest roles to date (behind the titular Fly and his fuzzy blue alien of Earth Girls are Easy). Ian is a bad boy and his entire outfit is both iconic and is easily the easiest costume to recreate. Like let’s get real we’d all just wear this on a Friday night. The best part about Ian’s outfit is how poorly chosen it is. “Oh I’m not gonna worry about going to an island off of Costa Rica where it will either be quite hot or quite wet, I’m wearing all LEATHER, baby!” We’ve got leather blazer, leather belt, leather pants, and leather boots. Not for nothing I respect the commitment. And yours if you go for the full unbuttoning.
Costume 4: Michelle Yeoh as Evelyn or Jamie Lee Curtis as Deirdre in Everything Everywhere All at Once
I don’t want to give away too much if you haven’t seen this *incredible* movie (I’ve seen it multiple times and cried each time from both laughing and heart swelling), but you need to know there is a universe where we all have hot dog fingers. And that’s the costume. Do you have this rad haircut I’ve always wanted? Do you have easy access to a wig and scissors? Then the rest will fall into place easily! Just wear anything beige and don’t forget the dogs!! I suggest taping them to your fingers but hey, feel free to get creative.
Costume 5: Florence Pugh as Dani in Midsommar
Here’s the one dress costume of the list! And definitely the most grotesque of all the movies! Yumyumyum! Bear! Though Dani’s dress is embroidered, if you have any kind of peasant-y white dress and white sneakers it’ll do. You get even just wear sandals. The main thing is ransacking Michael’s and glueing fake flowers all over you. You can go subtle like this picture or you could go allllllll in (in which case the dress means nothing).
We’ll return to the usual vintage shenanigans next week but I hope this helped inspire at least one person to shop their closet for a very weird costume. Let me know if you do! And if you dress like Kurt, send me photos <3
xx Maggie